


Friends Don't Hate Each Other

by ThisColdSunset



Series: This Body of Mine [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisColdSunset/pseuds/ThisColdSunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima’s eyes flashed with an emotion too quick to grasp.<br/>Was that it? Was that the hatred that he had been waiting for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friends Don't Hate Each Other

The clubroom was completely silent. Yamaguchi could feel his heart pounding in his chest like some shojou manga cliché, and his throat was incredibly tight, as if someone was squeezing his throat and refusing to let him breathe.  His eyes were stinging, and the only thing in his head was a malicious mantra of _oh shit oh shit oh shit now he knows and he’ll never speak to you again because you’re disgusting disgusting disgusting why couldn’t you just be fucking normal_ and there was this noise coming out of his mouth as if he was winded as the panic came crashing down around him.

“Yamaguchi.”

_He hates you._

“Yamaguchi.”

_You’re so disgusting._

“Yamaguchi, listen to me.”

_Freak._

“Tadashi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

Yamaguchi pulled his school shirt on over his head, over his chest, and over his binder with trembling hands and began quickly stuffing his volleyball uniform into his bag.  The only thought in his head was to _get out and far away_ as the mantra began getting louder and louder in his head.  Soon other voices joined his own conscience, voices of former classmates and relatives, all whispering _the wrong name_ and using _the wrong pronouns,_ everything reminding Yamaguchi of his body that was also so very _wrong_.

His eyesight was blurred as he headed for the door, tears finally overflowing and spilling down his cheeks, and he suddenly finds himself thinking that _only girls cry_ , and he honestly can’t stop the sound of anguish that tore itself from his throat.

And this was when long, gangly arms were enveloping him and holding him so close that he could hear a heartbeat if he listened over the sound of his own sobs.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki,” he sniffled, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”

His words were hoarse whispers muffled by Tsukishima’s jacket as he gripped it between his clenched fists, and he repeated himself over and over until he felt the taller boy’s  hand rest on his head, lightly touching his head, and followed by a soft, “Shut up, Tadashi.”

And he was silent, more or less, not counting the subtle sniffs and his slightly laboured breath, and Yamaguchi became even quieter after the older boy pulled away.

“Come on, Tadashi. Let’s go home. You’re staying over at mine.”

Yamaguchi simply stared at the other with wide, red-rimmed eyes, as he stood in the doorway with an expression on his face that could only be described as nonchalant, with a school bag slung over each shoulder.

“But Tsukki… What about…?” Yamaguchi’s voice trailed off, not knowing how to put it into words as he’d never been in this position before, because he had never told anyone.  Only his mother knew, and she never really spoke about it.

“What about what?” The impatience was clear in his voice, and his eyes remained as indifferent as ever.

“What about what you just saw? Aren’t you disgusted? Why aren’t you angry? _Why aren’t you telling me that you hate me?”_

Tsukishima’s eyes flashed with an emotion too quick to grasp.

_Was that it? Was that the hatred that he had been waiting for?_

Tsukishima stormed over with a look Yamaguchi had never seen before, bags dropping on the floor with metal zips clinking against each other, until his face was barely and inch from Yamaguchi’s own.

“Yamaguchi, shut up. Just shut up. I will never hate you, and it pisses me off that you’d ever even think that. So just fucking shut up, pick up your bag and let’s get out of here before those two other moronic first years come in here and join in the idiot parade.”

Yamaguchi couldn’t help the tiny smile on his wet, snotty and tear streaked face as he picked up his bag and followed Tsukishima, who was looking at something on the ground and certainly not waiting for him.

And if they held hands on the way home, it was only because it was unexpectedly cold and neither had thought to bring gloves.

 

 

*

“I’m your friend aren’t I? Friends don’t hate each other, stupid.” Tsukishima whispered into Yamaguchi’s ear later that night as he was cradled in the taller’s long, gangly arms as he had been earlier on.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be nice??  
> Feedback is welcome, and kudos are appreciated (if this wasn't too crappy)


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